| Location | Essex |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 10/02/2008 |
| Date of Death | 08/02/2008 |
| Visitors | 10,754 since 05/03/2008 |
| Creator |
Joshua Nathan – it’s been a whole year
And your First Birthday is finally here
Other folks say that it’s gone so fast
But for me, I feel like it’s barely gone past.
I’ve taken a full year to honour you
To mark all your “Firsts” and to celebrate too
You really are special, though others can’t see
But you were and still are a real Blessing to me
You are my own secret, you are my own joy
You are so precious to me, angel boy
They say you can’t miss what you never had
But I had you, I miss you – it drives Mummy mad
I had you my son and I always will
Though you had to go, you’re also here still
I see your sweet face in your Father and Brother
And a part of my heart can be filled by no other
When my hopes and my dreams were all ripped apart
It’s still true there’s more room in a broken heart
You’ve changed me forever and for that I am glad
Even though it’s true that I am so very sad
I now think that I have that much more to give
And whilst I am alive – you too will live
Your life was fleeting, but it still touches many
Like ripples in a wishing well caused by a penny
You do make a difference and help so much
Others don’t know you but still feel your touch
Because of you Daddy and I raised money
And gave it to help other babes through Charity
Because of you Josh I’ve connected with others
And talked with and comforted some bereaved Mothers
And because of your loss I was shown clearly
Who were the few real friends there for me
I wouldn’t have thought I could hurt this much alive
And yet you have shown me what I can survive
I am stronger for it and hope others can see
That, like your big brother, you’re the making of me
My precious baby son, there will always be
An unbreakable bond between you and me
I miss you SO much angel, you know that’s true
But my baby I will never regret having you
And when my time’s over there’ll be no more pain
As my heart will be whole when I see you again
Happy First Birthday my own precious treasure
Loving you always, forgetting you never.
Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxx
Written by Rachel Bass 10/02/09
LITTLE ONE
Not a single day goes by when I won’t think about you
Often I break down and cry – reminded I’m without you,
It feels as though a piece of me has gone and left a space
But I cannot let others know what cannot be replaced.
I miss the times we never had, the games we didn’t play
My loneliness has left me sad but I’ll hide it away.
I want to tell the world of you and pour out all this pain
But they won’t understand, it’s true - so nobody would gain.
I feel you are still near to me and just a dream away
Together again we will be - someday far away.
I would do anything for you to bring you back to me
There is nothing I wouldn’t do if only it could be
I ache to hold you close and see your face one more time,
Although my love is wrapped in pain you’ll still always be mine.
Even though we’re far apart and cannot be together
You’re always with me in my heart; and will be there forever.
I love you Josh. Love from Mummy xXx
Written by Rachel Bass Feb 08 and read at the Funeral Service.
JOSHUA NATHAN BASS
10-02-2008
Beloved son and brother (& grandson and nephew)
Much missed.
Weighed 1lb 4oz (560 gm)
11 inches long (28 cm)
Born sleeping; straight into Heaven on Sunday 10th February 2008 at 3:50 pm to Rachel & David.
Funeral and cremation was held on Monday 18th February 2008 (the day before my birthday) at 9:45 am
at Forest Park Crematorium, Hainault, just for David & I (Josh's parents). We laid three white
roses on the tiny white casket; from each of us and James. We had Eva Cassidy's version of
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" played and my poem "Little One" read out. Our heartfelt thanks to
Rodney and all at J. Markfields, Loughton, Essex for their sensitivity, compassion and generosity
regarding the funeral and details; and also to Forest Park.
Interment of Ashes at St. John's C of E Church, Buckhurst Hill, Essex on Friday 23rd May 2008, which
was my Due Date (or D Day as I call it) at 10:30 am. A few close friends came to support us for
this. Everybody wore something blue as I had asked them to (blue for a boy). My poem "Joshua
Nathan" was read out as part of the Service by the Revd Corinne Brixton. Thank you Corinne for both
the Funeral and Interment Services - which were lovely and very special and personal. It really
helped to have somebody who knows us doing it. Joshua's ashes were buried next to my Mother; so we
can visit them together and he is not on his own.
Our second-born child, our second son. Baby brother to James aged 6 years old at the time.
Joshua was born an Angel-Baby 6 months into the pregnancy because he had a severe form of CDH
(Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia) as well as a badly damaged heart. Also because the damaged
heterogenous placenta and 2-vessel umbilical cord could not sustain him to term.
Sometimes it is not about finding the answers, but in learning to live with the questions.
"How very softly you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently, only for moments you stayed.
But Oh what an imprint your footsteps have left upon my heart."
Joshua you were so longed-for by your Mummy, Daddy and Big Brother James. We had waited for you and
were so happy and hopeful. You were made with love and so loved. You were very active inside
Mummy's tummy and she really enjoyed feeling your movements and listening to your heartbeat. She
even enjoyed all the morning sickness because she was so happy to know she was carrying you!
You will always be our precious baby son; we will never forget you, and we were blessed to have had
you for that brief time, although it was just inside Mummy's tummy.
"Even though we're far apart, there'll always be within our hearts, a very large and constant part,
that is kept just for you."
We love you and we will always love you. Our pure and precious child. We will never forget you and
how fragile but perfect you were. Your beautiful little face and your tiny hands and feet.. you
were gorgeous and delicate and looked so much like your brother and father - which is lovely as we
can imagine how you would have looked growing up. I am so glad we got the bronze casts of your
hands and feet; it is so special to be able to hold and touch them and remember how tiny but perfect
you were, see the little creases and nails... you were so beautiful.
Your Grandma Carol (my Mum) will look after you now for us until we are reunited. Also all your
Great-Grandparents Ruby, Gilbert, Kit & Bill plus Grandma Liz and Cousin Gillian (who will love it
as she did not get to take care of her own baby son on earth) along with her oldest sibling, my
other cousin that I never got to meet who was also born sleeping.
Born still but still born.
Our hearts grieve so much but we are still so grateful to have had you. We are comforted to know
that you are at Peace.
"A beautiful flower, lent not given, to bud on earth and bloom in heaven."
Born straight into eternal life. Our darling, darling baby boy.
Grief is not forever - but love is.
Love never ends.
There will never be a day when I won't think of you.
All our love always from Mummy, Daddy and Big Brother James xXx
JOSHUA
For years we had longed for another
Then at last a test showed two blue lines
We were filled with intense joy and awe
A creation of our love combined.
From feeling your first tiny movements
To hearing your steady heartbeat
Daddy and I were excited
You would make our family complete.
I know that you knew our three voices
You’d respond to my questioning touch
But Joshua did you sense back then
That I loved you, so very much?
Your big brother James is so lonely
He needs to share his childhood
My boy, how he would have adored you
And oh how we wish that he could.
My happiness grew with my waistline
I felt full of sunshine and hope
Then came that fateful bad scan
Our dreams and our hearts smashed and broke.
You would live out all your little lifespan
All privately inside of me
We had thought you’d outlive all of us
But my Darling, it was not to be.
That day that we knew we had lost you
Was truly the worst of my life
The anguish and the loss so intense
It can still cut through me like a knife.
When you were born it was so quiet
The peace in the eye of the storm
My heart hemorrhaged with love
Which has left it open, but torn.
Daddy and I recognized you
Our child so perfect and sweet
You looked so much like your big brother
Right down to your lovely long feet.
Drinking you in was a gift
Holding you made me feel whole
Why you were taken so early
Is something we cannot yet know.
We yearned to gaze into your blue eyes
And for you to have breathed in our air
But our baby, how you would have suffered
Our selfishness would not have been fair.
So you were born straight into Heaven
Your passage there was short and swift
And we are the ones who are hurting
Our Joshua, how you are missed.
We’ll always be grateful we had you
Our love for you will never end
You are our second son and a brother
So that is the message we send.
We’ll always have questions about you
Your personality, looks, voice and such
But we already know the important
That regardless, we’d love you as much.
In Heaven we know you’ll be waiting
We’ll hear your voice and touch your face
Then we’ll have all of eternity
To talk, laugh, explain and embrace.
Just know until then, our dear Angel
You will stay in our thoughts night and day
And throughout the rest of our lives here
Our love for you won’t fade away.
There’ll always be a space amongst us
We shall miss you so much, that is true
But there’s something we could never regret
And our beautiful son, that is you.
You are our sorrow and our delight
We will stop loving and missing you never
The child we had, but do not have
Yet the child we shall have forever.
"Joshua Nathan
My cherished pride, my secret joy
My pure and perfect little boy."
Love always, from Mummy xXx
Written by Rachel Bass May 08 and read at Internment of Ashes Service.
Joshua: meaning “God is my salvation”
Nathan: meaning “Gift from God”.
You were my gift and you were saved.
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------♥♥------Put This
----♥♥-♥♥--- - On Your
---♥♥---♥♥-- -Profile If
---♥♥---♥♥-- -You Know
---♥♥---♥♥-- -Someone
----♥♥-♥♥--- -Who Died
-----♥♥♥----- Of
----♥♥-♥♥--- -Cancer And
---♥♥---♥♥-- -You Love
--♥♥-----♥♥- -Very Much
In loving memory of my beautiful cousin Gillian Redfern Ashdown, who died of breast cancer in her
early thirties on 13/07/97 leaving her husband, 3 year old daughter and 6 week old son.
And especially my wonderful and brilliant Mum CAROL Redfern Mayes Burnham, who was only given six
months to live but bravely battled breast cancer for three and a half years for the sake of her
three young daughters. She even made the London Tonight programme and The Times newspaper for
defying the odds for so long! When she lost the battle I was 24, my sisters Rebecca were 17 and
Ruth 11 - it was Ruth's last day at Primary school.
I still remember my Mum's motto was W.T.F. (What the F***!!) as she always chose to seize the day
and go for it with everything! She heard that line in the film "Risky Business" with Tom Cruise and
thought it was brilliant. She had it iced onto a cake one year!
At her funeral we played "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion - that about sums it up for me.
Our Fabulous Mum: 31/12/1945 - 14/07/2000
"A light has gone from our household,
A voice we love is stilled,
A place is missing in our hearts
That can never be filled."
God bless you Mum and look after my baby Josh for me, other than David and I you are the best person
for the role. I entrust one of my precious sons into your care, and I felt you and the Holy Spirit
come and take him. At the time of Joshua's passing I felt this incredible sense of warmth and peace
flooding through me. I knew exactly when it was because of this. Thank you Mum for everything.
I'm grateful to you and I love you.
TRIBUTE FOR 19-11-09
♥*•♥ One Gift♥*•♥
One gift, above all others
God gives to us to treasure
One that knows no time, no place
And one gold cannot measure
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
The precious, poignant tender gift
Of Memory...that will keep
Of dear ones ever in our hearts
Although God gives them sleep
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
It brings back long remembered things
A song, a word, a smile
And the world's a better place
...because
We had them for awhile!
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
TRIBUTE FOR 20-11-09
The pain we feel inside today
Is the pain we try to hide,
For no one will ever know
The tears i cry inside.
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
It seems like only yesterday
The wound is still so sore.
For every hour of every day
We miss you more and more
For you are someone special
And think the world of you.
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
TRIBUTE FOR 21-11-09
Missing You
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
I just can't believe it
The sun still sets and rises.
The moon and stars still shine.
The flowers still bloom,
The birds still sing.
I expected a change in everything...
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
I just can't believe it.
It still gets dark and light.
The ocean still has waves,
The rain still rains,
The wind still blows.
Is it because they do not know?
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
I just can't believe it.
I thought the world would stop,
When in the house I found
An empty chair,
A missing smile.
I thought it would stop
For just a while.
I just can't believe it....
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
TRIBUTE FOR 22-11-09
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
You gave us love
And lots more,
We have so much
To thank you for,
Silent thoughts,
Memories deep,
Locked in our hearts
For ever to keep.
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
♥•*♥*•♥^♥• *♥*•♥
I wish you all a very peaceful weekend my friend
With love as always Linda.xxx
Disneyland Paris
Well my little Josh-bosh, as you know we are taking your big brother James to Disneyland Paris on Monday morning by Eurostar. He is beside himself with excitement, and Daddy finds it funny that I am also leaping around in feverish anticipation!
I have always wanted to take James there and he himself has been asking for it for over a year. At last a dream is coming true for us. But, like anything, I also feel a sadness....that you are not here. That you can't be with your family especially for something like this. I had planned to go this year anyway when aI was expecting you, because you would be walking by now and hopefully old enough to retain a conscious memory of it and enjoy it, and your brother would be nearly 8 and knows who the characters and movies are, and is tall and big enough to go on most things. He also is easier as now he has more speech and understanding, is dry (most nights!) and is more flexible about when and what he eats etc. He is also able to cope with crowds and noise a bit better.
I miss you so very much my Cherub. It is a constant ache in my heart that I have almost gotten resigned to feeling; to the point where I can almost accept it. I have given up waiting to go back to being the old me. I have learned now that I can never be her again. There is just the new me now, the me that has lost you. Another clean knife-edged cut in my life that gives me a Before and After. I think I've had enough of those now.
I am hoping to take your Bear Factory (Build a Bear) teddy with us, but it is quite big and you know how whenever we travel anywhere I take too much stuff and it drives Daddy mad! So we shall see. But even without your bear, we know you'll be with us in spirit, and you know that we will be privately thinking of you and missing you the whole time. Wistfully wishing things were different and our family circle was complete.
Christmas is also looming once again and once again I am secretly dreading it, as it sharpens my grief and highlights my loss of you like a magnifying glass. It makes it all raw again. Even Fireworks night did it to me - nothing will ever be completely perfect and joyful for me because you are not here. I am learning to accept that and to enjoy the best things can get, but it is a learning curve and I need more practice. Still, I have decades for that (I hope!).
Lots of love to you my precious angel son.
Love you to the stars and back,
Love always from Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
♥ `*•.� 13th NOVEMBER 2009 ♥ `*•.�
............)............
.............((............
.............) \...........
............( , )..........Your journey on the train of life has ended,
........._ `|'__.........
..........( """"_ )......The fire is out, the wheels stopped turning too,
...........)/(/( \|...,'...
...........() )()|| -'....But you are still here with us on our journey,
...........| () ||........
...........|.....||........In our hearts as we still love and think of you.
...........|.....().........
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...........|.....|..........I wish you all a good weekend,
...........|.....|..........With love as always Linda.xxx
..____|__|____.....
..(________.....___)...
`*•.� 10th NOVEMBER 2009 ♥ `*•.�
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Love Shines Through
Like a shadow in the moonlight
Like the whisper of the seas
Like the echoes of a melody
Just beyond our reach
In the shadow of our sorrow
Past the whisper of goodbye
Love shines through eternity
A heartbeat from our eye
By : Catherine Turner
♥ `*•.� 11th NOVEMBER 2009 ♥ `*•.�
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TIME WILL EASE THE HURT
by Bruce B. Wilmer
The sadness of the present days
Is locked and set in time,
And meaning to the future
Is a slow and painful climb.
But all the feelings that are now
So vivid and so real
Can't hold their fresh intensity
As time begins to heal.
No wound so deep will ever go
Entirely away;
Yet every hurt becomes
A little less from day to day.
Nothing can erase the painful
Imprints on your mind;
But there are softer memories
That time will let you find.
Though your heart won't let the sadness
Simply slide away,
The echoes will diminish
Even though the memories stay.
♥ `*•.� 12th NOVEMBER 2009 ♥ `*•.�
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Memories ?
Memories fill the empty space
Where you used to lie
Tears flood my eyes
As I see your face
Your smile
I hear your voice
The humour
I smile...
God Bless You Beautiful Angel
With me all the while
My memories
Take me straight to you
Bridge time and space
Uniting us forever
In an unbroken embrace
Have A Lovely Week My Friends.
With Love Always Linda.xxx
TRIBUTE FOR THURSDAY 5.11.09
..?..*• ? .•**•.. ? .•**•.. ? .•**•.. ? .•**..?..
The size of sadness
Can you measure our pain?
It reaches the stars and back again
Can you count our tears?
They are as many as winter rain
Can you weigh our emptiness?
The world and more would come to less
With no hope of sun tomorrow
That's how we see our sorrow
Add all together -The size of sadness
..?..*• ? .•**•.. ? .•**•.. ? .•**•.. ? .•**..?..
TRIBUTE FOR FRIDAY 6.11.09.
..?..*• ? .•**•.. ? .•**•.. ? .•**•.. ? .•**..?..
Having you not with me
Hurts more and more each day
Although I feel a closeness
In a very special way
Even as I go to sleep
Every thought is of you
And I never thought i'd miss you
In quite the way I do
So i'm hoping that these words
May some how let you know
That you're in my heart forever
And i'll always love you so
The one and only thing
That helps me with the pain
Is dreaming of the time
When I will see you once again...
..?..*• ? .•**•.. ? .•**•.. ? .•**•.. ? .•**..?..
TRIBUTE FOR SATURDAY 07.1109
..?..*• ? .•**•.. ? .•**•.. ? .•**•.. ? .•**..?..
My love is with you
Oh What can I say?
My heart is empty without you each and every day.
The Angel wings you wear must be so grand,
if only I could reach out and touch your hand,
maybe then we could say goodbye,
which would help dry the tears that I cry
Now I know that’s impossible for us to do,
so let’s make a deal just you and me.
When I look to the stars at night,
you look for me with all your might,
when you see me just shine real bright,
together we can send our love
and say Good Night.
I would like to wish you all a very good weekend and God Bless all our Angels and all our BRAVE HERO'S who have Lost Their Lives.
With love as always Linda.xxx
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
Tributes For Week Starting 2nd November
FOR MONDAY
There's a special kind of feeling,
That's meant for you alone,
A special place within our hearts,
That only you can own.
FOR TUESDAY
If only prayers were answered,
& wishes did come true,
Our only wishes with all our hearts,
Would be to still have you
FOR WEDNESDAY
We send this special message
To the heavens up above
Please take care of our precious angels
And give them all our love
FOR THURSDAY
I lit a candle for you today
May it's light reflect my love your way
Now I must go until next time
I will forever keep you, gently on my mind
FOR FRIDAY
Angels
When you were born, an angel smiled,
As you became a child, an angel sat on your shoulder
When you became an adult, an angel held your hand
As you grew old, an angel walked down the road with you,
And, when you died, another angel got their wings.
FOR SATURDAY
Letter From Heaven
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said,
"I welcome you."
It's good to have you back again; you were missed
While you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.
And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
Remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.
FOR SUNDAY
Reply to "Letter from Heaven"
My Dearest Loved one:
I received your Letter from Heaven,
It made the teardrops fall.
But knowing you’re with God above,
Sweet memories, I will recall.
I know that you are with me,
For I feel your presence near.
And if I listen closely,
Your voice I then can hear.
I know you’re watching o’er me,
As you promised you would do.
And when I feel so saddened,
It’s your letter that sees me through.
When I lay in bed at night,
The day’s chores put to flight,
I truly feel your presence,
Like a warm and glowing light.
The rocky roads you mentioned,
And the hills that I must climb;
I’ve done exactly what you said,
By taking one day at a time.
I’ve tried to help others,
Who are in sorrow and in pain.
And now I am contented,
My day was not in vain.
I’ll lend a hand, as you have said
When someone is feeling low.
I’ll pray for them and be here,
‘Till on their way they go.
And when it’s time for me to go,
To join you in heaven high.
My wings I shall spread wide,
To my home up in the sky.
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
Thoughts Today, Memories Forever
Angela Christopher's Very Proud Mum
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
❤ Happy Halloween Joshua xXx ❤
Five little pumpkins
Sitting on a gate.
The first one said,
"Oh, my it's getting late!"
The second one said,
"There are witches in the air!"
The third one said,
"Well, I don't care!"
The fourth one said,
"Let's run and run and run!"
The fifth one said,
"I'm ready for some fun!"
Ooooo went the wind
And out went the lights
And the five little pumpkins
Rolled out of sight.
Lots of Love
Kelly ~xx*❤*xx~
♥
24TH OCTOBER 2009
GOOD AFTERNOON..................JUST WANTED TO SAY HELLO AND SEND YOU...........................
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HAVE A LOVELY WEEKEND, LOVE JUDE. X X
♥
Cold - by Annie Lennox (Angle Mum to Daniel)
Come to me run to me
do and be done with me
(cold cold cold)
Don't I exist for you?
don't I still live for you?
(cold cold cold)
Everything I presents
giving with tenderness
wrapped in a ribbon of glass
Time it may take us but God only knows
how I've paid for those things in the past.
Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death
I could be so content hearing the sound of your breath.
Cold is the colour of crystal the snowlight
that falls from the heavenly skies.
Catch me and and let me dive under
for I want to swim in the pools of your eyes.
I want to be with you
baby
oh
slip me inside of your heart.
Don't I belong to you baby?
don't you know that nothing can tear us apart?
Come on now
come on now
come on now
telling you that I loved you right from the start.
But the more I want you the less I get.
Ain't that just the way things are?
Winter has frozen us
let love take hold of us
(cold cold cold)
Now we are shivering
blue ice is glittering
(cold cold cold)
Cold is the colour...
And you know it's cold
cold
cold
Lyrics by Annie Lennox - another Angel Mummy
Come into these arms again
And lay your body down
Th' rhythm of this trembling heart
Is beating like a drum.
It beats for you, it bleeds for you
It knows not how it sounds.
For it is the drum of drums
It is the song of songs.
Once I had the rarest rose that
ever deigned to bloom.
Cruel winter chilled the balm,
And stole my flower too soon
O loneliness, O hopelessness
To search the ends of time,
For there is in all the world
No greater love than mine.
Love....Still falls the rain.
Be mine forever...
Let me be the only one
To keep you from the cold.
Now the floor of heav'n is laid,
Its stars of brightest glow.
They shine for you.
They shine for you.
They burn for all to see.
Come into these arms again
And set this spirit free.
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