Joshua Nathan Bass

Joshua Nathan – it’s been a whole year
And your First Birthday is finally here
Other folks say that it’s gone so fast
But for me, I feel like it’s barely gone past.
I’ve taken a full year to honour you
To mark all your “Firsts” and to celebrate too
You really are special, though others can’t see
But you were and still are a real Blessing to me
You are my own secret, you are my own joy
You are so precious to me, angel boy
They say you can’t miss what you never had
But I had you, I miss you – it drives Mummy mad
I had you my son and I always will
Though you had to go, you’re also here still
I see your sweet face in your Father and Brother
And a part of my heart can be filled by no other
When my hopes and my dreams were all ripped apart
It’s still true there’s more room in a broken heart
You’ve changed me forever and for that I am glad
Even though it’s true that I am so very sad
I now think that I have that much more to give
And whilst I am alive – you too will live
Your life was fleeting, but it still touches many
Like ripples in a wishing well caused by a penny
You do make a difference and help so much
Others don’t know you but still feel your touch
Because of you Daddy and I raised money
And gave it to help other babes through Charity
Because of you Josh I’ve connected with others
And talked with and comforted some bereaved Mothers
And because of your loss I was shown clearly
Who were the few real friends there for me
I wouldn’t have thought I could hurt this much alive
And yet you have shown me what I can survive
I am stronger for it and hope others can see
That, like your big brother, you’re the making of me
My precious baby son, there will always be
An unbreakable bond between you and me
I miss you SO much angel, you know that’s true
But my baby I will never regret having you
And when my time’s over there’ll be no more pain
As my heart will be whole when I see you again
Happy First Birthday my own precious treasure
Loving you always, forgetting you never.

Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxx
Written by Rachel Bass 10/02/09



LITTLE ONE
Not a single day goes by when I won’t think about you
Often I break down and cry – reminded I’m without you,
It feels as though a piece of me has gone and left a space
But I cannot let others know what cannot be replaced.
I miss the times we never had, the games we didn’t play
My loneliness has left me sad but I’ll hide it away.
I want to tell the world of you and pour out all this pain
But they won’t understand, it’s true - so nobody would gain.
I feel you are still near to me and just a dream away
Together again we will be - someday far away.
I would do anything for you to bring you back to me
There is nothing I wouldn’t do if only it could be
I ache to hold you close and see your face one more time,
Although my love is wrapped in pain you’ll still always be mine.
Even though we’re far apart and cannot be together
You’re always with me in my heart; and will be there forever.
I love you Josh. Love from Mummy xXx
Written by Rachel Bass Feb 08 and read at the Funeral Service.

JOSHUA NATHAN BASS
10-02-2008
Beloved son and brother (& grandson and nephew)
Much missed.
Weighed 1lb 4oz (560 gm)
11 inches long (28 cm)
Born sleeping; straight into Heaven on Sunday 10th February 2008 at 3:50 pm to Rachel & David.
Funeral and cremation was held on Monday 18th February 2008 (the day before my birthday) at 9:45 am
at Forest Park Crematorium, Hainault, just for David & I (Josh's parents). We laid three white
roses on the tiny white casket; from each of us and James. We had Eva Cassidy's version of
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" played and my poem "Little One" read out. Our heartfelt thanks to
Rodney and all at J. Markfields, Loughton, Essex for their sensitivity, compassion and generosity
regarding the funeral and details; and also to Forest Park.

Interment of Ashes at St. John's C of E Church, Buckhurst Hill, Essex on Friday 23rd May 2008, which
was my Due Date (or D Day as I call it) at 10:30 am. A few close friends came to support us for
this. Everybody wore something blue as I had asked them to (blue for a boy). My poem "Joshua
Nathan" was read out as part of the Service by the Revd Corinne Brixton. Thank you Corinne for both
the Funeral and Interment Services - which were lovely and very special and personal. It really
helped to have somebody who knows us doing it. Joshua's ashes were buried next to my Mother; so we
can visit them together and he is not on his own.

Our second-born child, our second son. Baby brother to James aged 6 years old at the time.
Joshua was born an Angel-Baby 6 months into the pregnancy because he had a severe form of CDH
(Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia) as well as a badly damaged heart. Also because the damaged
heterogenous placenta and 2-vessel umbilical cord could not sustain him to term.
Sometimes it is not about finding the answers, but in learning to live with the questions.
"How very softly you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently, only for moments you stayed.
But Oh what an imprint your footsteps have left upon my heart."
Joshua you were so longed-for by your Mummy, Daddy and Big Brother James. We had waited for you and
were so happy and hopeful. You were made with love and so loved. You were very active inside
Mummy's tummy and she really enjoyed feeling your movements and listening to your heartbeat. She
even enjoyed all the morning sickness because she was so happy to know she was carrying you!
You will always be our precious baby son; we will never forget you, and we were blessed to have had
you for that brief time, although it was just inside Mummy's tummy.
"Even though we're far apart, there'll always be within our hearts, a very large and constant part,
that is kept just for you."
We love you and we will always love you. Our pure and precious child. We will never forget you and
how fragile but perfect you were. Your beautiful little face and your tiny hands and feet.. you
were gorgeous and delicate and looked so much like your brother and father - which is lovely as we
can imagine how you would have looked growing up. I am so glad we got the bronze casts of your
hands and feet; it is so special to be able to hold and touch them and remember how tiny but perfect
you were, see the little creases and nails... you were so beautiful.
Your Grandma Carol (my Mum) will look after you now for us until we are reunited. Also all your
Great-Grandparents Ruby, Gilbert, Kit & Bill plus Grandma Liz and Cousin Gillian (who will love it
as she did not get to take care of her own baby son on earth) along with her oldest sibling, my
other cousin that I never got to meet who was also born sleeping.
Born still but still born.
Our hearts grieve so much but we are still so grateful to have had you. We are comforted to know
that you are at Peace.
"A beautiful flower, lent not given, to bud on earth and bloom in heaven."
Born straight into eternal life. Our darling, darling baby boy.
Grief is not forever - but love is.
Love never ends.
There will never be a day when I won't think of you.
All our love always from Mummy, Daddy and Big Brother James xXx

JOSHUA
For years we had longed for another
Then at last a test showed two blue lines
We were filled with intense joy and awe
A creation of our love combined.
From feeling your first tiny movements
To hearing your steady heartbeat
Daddy and I were excited
You would make our family complete.
I know that you knew our three voices
You’d respond to my questioning touch
But Joshua did you sense back then
That I loved you, so very much?
Your big brother James is so lonely
He needs to share his childhood
My boy, how he would have adored you
And oh how we wish that he could.
My happiness grew with my waistline
I felt full of sunshine and hope
Then came that fateful bad scan
Our dreams and our hearts smashed and broke.
You would live out all your little lifespan
All privately inside of me
We had thought you’d outlive all of us
But my Darling, it was not to be.
That day that we knew we had lost you
Was truly the worst of my life
The anguish and the loss so intense
It can still cut through me like a knife.
When you were born it was so quiet
The peace in the eye of the storm
My heart hemorrhaged with love
Which has left it open, but torn.
Daddy and I recognized you
Our child so perfect and sweet
You looked so much like your big brother
Right down to your lovely long feet.
Drinking you in was a gift
Holding you made me feel whole
Why you were taken so early
Is something we cannot yet know.
We yearned to gaze into your blue eyes
And for you to have breathed in our air
But our baby, how you would have suffered
Our selfishness would not have been fair.
So you were born straight into Heaven
Your passage there was short and swift
And we are the ones who are hurting
Our Joshua, how you are missed.
We’ll always be grateful we had you
Our love for you will never end
You are our second son and a brother
So that is the message we send.
We’ll always have questions about you
Your personality, looks, voice and such
But we already know the important
That regardless, we’d love you as much.
In Heaven we know you’ll be waiting
We’ll hear your voice and touch your face
Then we’ll have all of eternity
To talk, laugh, explain and embrace.
Just know until then, our dear Angel
You will stay in our thoughts night and day
And throughout the rest of our lives here
Our love for you won’t fade away.
There’ll always be a space amongst us
We shall miss you so much, that is true
But there’s something we could never regret
And our beautiful son, that is you.
You are our sorrow and our delight
We will stop loving and missing you never
The child we had, but do not have
Yet the child we shall have forever.
"Joshua Nathan
My cherished pride, my secret joy
My pure and perfect little boy."
Love always, from Mummy xXx
Written by Rachel Bass May 08 and read at Internment of Ashes Service.
Joshua: meaning “God is my salvation”
Nathan: meaning “Gift from God”.
You were my gift and you were saved.

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------♥♥------Put This
----♥♥-♥♥--- - On Your
---♥♥---♥♥-- -Profile If
---♥♥---♥♥-- -You Know
---♥♥---♥♥-- -Someone
----♥♥-♥♥--- -Who Died
-----♥♥♥----- Of
----♥♥-♥♥--- -Cancer And
---♥♥---♥♥-- -You Love
--♥♥-----♥♥- -Very Much

In loving memory of my beautiful cousin Gillian Redfern Ashdown, who died of breast cancer in her
early thirties on 13/07/97 leaving her husband, 3 year old daughter and 6 week old son.
And especially my wonderful and brilliant Mum CAROL Redfern Mayes Burnham, who was only given six
months to live but bravely battled breast cancer for three and a half years for the sake of her
three young daughters. She even made the London Tonight programme and The Times newspaper for
defying the odds for so long! When she lost the battle I was 24, my sisters Rebecca were 17 and
Ruth 11 - it was Ruth's last day at Primary school.
I still remember my Mum's motto was W.T.F. (What the F***!!) as she always chose to seize the day
and go for it with everything! She heard that line in the film "Risky Business" with Tom Cruise and
thought it was brilliant. She had it iced onto a cake one year!
At her funeral we played "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion - that about sums it up for me.
Our Fabulous Mum: 31/12/1945 - 14/07/2000
"A light has gone from our household,
A voice we love is stilled,
A place is missing in our hearts
That can never be filled."
God bless you Mum and look after my baby Josh for me, other than David and I you are the best person
for the role. I entrust one of my precious sons into your care, and I felt you and the Holy Spirit
come and take him. At the time of Joshua's passing I felt this incredible sense of warmth and peace
flooding through me. I knew exactly when it was because of this. Thank you Mum for everything.
I'm grateful to you and I love you.