
| Location | Essex |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 10/02/2008 |
| Date of Death | 08/02/2008 |
| Visitors | 10,798 since 05/03/2008 |
| Creator |
Joshua Nathan – it’s been a whole year
And your First Birthday is finally here
Other folks say that it’s gone so fast
But for me, I feel like it’s barely gone past.
I’ve taken a full year to honour you
To mark all your “Firsts” and to celebrate too
You really are special, though others can’t see
But you were and still are a real Blessing to me
You are my own secret, you are my own joy
You are so precious to me, angel boy
They say you can’t miss what you never had
But I had you, I miss you – it drives Mummy mad
I had you my son and I always will
Though you had to go, you’re also here still
I see your sweet face in your Father and Brother
And a part of my heart can be filled by no other
When my hopes and my dreams were all ripped apart
It’s still true there’s more room in a broken heart
You’ve changed me forever and for that I am glad
Even though it’s true that I am so very sad
I now think that I have that much more to give
And whilst I am alive – you too will live
Your life was fleeting, but it still touches many
Like ripples in a wishing well caused by a penny
You do make a difference and help so much
Others don’t know you but still feel your touch
Because of you Daddy and I raised money
And gave it to help other babes through Charity
Because of you Josh I’ve connected with others
And talked with and comforted some bereaved Mothers
And because of your loss I was shown clearly
Who were the few real friends there for me
I wouldn’t have thought I could hurt this much alive
And yet you have shown me what I can survive
I am stronger for it and hope others can see
That, like your big brother, you’re the making of me
My precious baby son, there will always be
An unbreakable bond between you and me
I miss you SO much angel, you know that’s true
But my baby I will never regret having you
And when my time’s over there’ll be no more pain
As my heart will be whole when I see you again
Happy First Birthday my own precious treasure
Loving you always, forgetting you never.
Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxx
Written by Rachel Bass 10/02/09
LITTLE ONE
Not a single day goes by when I won’t think about you
Often I break down and cry – reminded I’m without you,
It feels as though a piece of me has gone and left a space
But I cannot let others know what cannot be replaced.
I miss the times we never had, the games we didn’t play
My loneliness has left me sad but I’ll hide it away.
I want to tell the world of you and pour out all this pain
But they won’t understand, it’s true - so nobody would gain.
I feel you are still near to me and just a dream away
Together again we will be - someday far away.
I would do anything for you to bring you back to me
There is nothing I wouldn’t do if only it could be
I ache to hold you close and see your face one more time,
Although my love is wrapped in pain you’ll still always be mine.
Even though we’re far apart and cannot be together
You’re always with me in my heart; and will be there forever.
I love you Josh. Love from Mummy xXx
Written by Rachel Bass Feb 08 and read at the Funeral Service.
JOSHUA NATHAN BASS
10-02-2008
Beloved son and brother (& grandson and nephew)
Much missed.
Weighed 1lb 4oz (560 gm)
11 inches long (28 cm)
Born sleeping; straight into Heaven on Sunday 10th February 2008 at 3:50 pm to Rachel & David.
Funeral and cremation was held on Monday 18th February 2008 (the day before my birthday) at 9:45 am
at Forest Park Crematorium, Hainault, just for David & I (Josh's parents). We laid three white
roses on the tiny white casket; from each of us and James. We had Eva Cassidy's version of
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" played and my poem "Little One" read out. Our heartfelt thanks to
Rodney and all at J. Markfields, Loughton, Essex for their sensitivity, compassion and generosity
regarding the funeral and details; and also to Forest Park.
Interment of Ashes at St. John's C of E Church, Buckhurst Hill, Essex on Friday 23rd May 2008, which
was my Due Date (or D Day as I call it) at 10:30 am. A few close friends came to support us for
this. Everybody wore something blue as I had asked them to (blue for a boy). My poem "Joshua
Nathan" was read out as part of the Service by the Revd Corinne Brixton. Thank you Corinne for both
the Funeral and Interment Services - which were lovely and very special and personal. It really
helped to have somebody who knows us doing it. Joshua's ashes were buried next to my Mother; so we
can visit them together and he is not on his own.
Our second-born child, our second son. Baby brother to James aged 6 years old at the time.
Joshua was born an Angel-Baby 6 months into the pregnancy because he had a severe form of CDH
(Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia) as well as a badly damaged heart. Also because the damaged
heterogenous placenta and 2-vessel umbilical cord could not sustain him to term.
Sometimes it is not about finding the answers, but in learning to live with the questions.
"How very softly you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently, only for moments you stayed.
But Oh what an imprint your footsteps have left upon my heart."
Joshua you were so longed-for by your Mummy, Daddy and Big Brother James. We had waited for you and
were so happy and hopeful. You were made with love and so loved. You were very active inside
Mummy's tummy and she really enjoyed feeling your movements and listening to your heartbeat. She
even enjoyed all the morning sickness because she was so happy to know she was carrying you!
You will always be our precious baby son; we will never forget you, and we were blessed to have had
you for that brief time, although it was just inside Mummy's tummy.
"Even though we're far apart, there'll always be within our hearts, a very large and constant part,
that is kept just for you."
We love you and we will always love you. Our pure and precious child. We will never forget you and
how fragile but perfect you were. Your beautiful little face and your tiny hands and feet.. you
were gorgeous and delicate and looked so much like your brother and father - which is lovely as we
can imagine how you would have looked growing up. I am so glad we got the bronze casts of your
hands and feet; it is so special to be able to hold and touch them and remember how tiny but perfect
you were, see the little creases and nails... you were so beautiful.
Your Grandma Carol (my Mum) will look after you now for us until we are reunited. Also all your
Great-Grandparents Ruby, Gilbert, Kit & Bill plus Grandma Liz and Cousin Gillian (who will love it
as she did not get to take care of her own baby son on earth) along with her oldest sibling, my
other cousin that I never got to meet who was also born sleeping.
Born still but still born.
Our hearts grieve so much but we are still so grateful to have had you. We are comforted to know
that you are at Peace.
"A beautiful flower, lent not given, to bud on earth and bloom in heaven."
Born straight into eternal life. Our darling, darling baby boy.
Grief is not forever - but love is.
Love never ends.
There will never be a day when I won't think of you.
All our love always from Mummy, Daddy and Big Brother James xXx
JOSHUA
For years we had longed for another
Then at last a test showed two blue lines
We were filled with intense joy and awe
A creation of our love combined.
From feeling your first tiny movements
To hearing your steady heartbeat
Daddy and I were excited
You would make our family complete.
I know that you knew our three voices
You’d respond to my questioning touch
But Joshua did you sense back then
That I loved you, so very much?
Your big brother James is so lonely
He needs to share his childhood
My boy, how he would have adored you
And oh how we wish that he could.
My happiness grew with my waistline
I felt full of sunshine and hope
Then came that fateful bad scan
Our dreams and our hearts smashed and broke.
You would live out all your little lifespan
All privately inside of me
We had thought you’d outlive all of us
But my Darling, it was not to be.
That day that we knew we had lost you
Was truly the worst of my life
The anguish and the loss so intense
It can still cut through me like a knife.
When you were born it was so quiet
The peace in the eye of the storm
My heart hemorrhaged with love
Which has left it open, but torn.
Daddy and I recognized you
Our child so perfect and sweet
You looked so much like your big brother
Right down to your lovely long feet.
Drinking you in was a gift
Holding you made me feel whole
Why you were taken so early
Is something we cannot yet know.
We yearned to gaze into your blue eyes
And for you to have breathed in our air
But our baby, how you would have suffered
Our selfishness would not have been fair.
So you were born straight into Heaven
Your passage there was short and swift
And we are the ones who are hurting
Our Joshua, how you are missed.
We’ll always be grateful we had you
Our love for you will never end
You are our second son and a brother
So that is the message we send.
We’ll always have questions about you
Your personality, looks, voice and such
But we already know the important
That regardless, we’d love you as much.
In Heaven we know you’ll be waiting
We’ll hear your voice and touch your face
Then we’ll have all of eternity
To talk, laugh, explain and embrace.
Just know until then, our dear Angel
You will stay in our thoughts night and day
And throughout the rest of our lives here
Our love for you won’t fade away.
There’ll always be a space amongst us
We shall miss you so much, that is true
But there’s something we could never regret
And our beautiful son, that is you.
You are our sorrow and our delight
We will stop loving and missing you never
The child we had, but do not have
Yet the child we shall have forever.
"Joshua Nathan
My cherished pride, my secret joy
My pure and perfect little boy."
Love always, from Mummy xXx
Written by Rachel Bass May 08 and read at Internment of Ashes Service.
Joshua: meaning “God is my salvation”
Nathan: meaning “Gift from God”.
You were my gift and you were saved.
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------♥♥------Put This
----♥♥-♥♥--- - On Your
---♥♥---♥♥-- -Profile If
---♥♥---♥♥-- -You Know
---♥♥---♥♥-- -Someone
----♥♥-♥♥--- -Who Died
-----♥♥♥----- Of
----♥♥-♥♥--- -Cancer And
---♥♥---♥♥-- -You Love
--♥♥-----♥♥- -Very Much
In loving memory of my beautiful cousin Gillian Redfern Ashdown, who died of breast cancer in her
early thirties on 13/07/97 leaving her husband, 3 year old daughter and 6 week old son.
And especially my wonderful and brilliant Mum CAROL Redfern Mayes Burnham, who was only given six
months to live but bravely battled breast cancer for three and a half years for the sake of her
three young daughters. She even made the London Tonight programme and The Times newspaper for
defying the odds for so long! When she lost the battle I was 24, my sisters Rebecca were 17 and
Ruth 11 - it was Ruth's last day at Primary school.
I still remember my Mum's motto was W.T.F. (What the F***!!) as she always chose to seize the day
and go for it with everything! She heard that line in the film "Risky Business" with Tom Cruise and
thought it was brilliant. She had it iced onto a cake one year!
At her funeral we played "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion - that about sums it up for me.
Our Fabulous Mum: 31/12/1945 - 14/07/2000
"A light has gone from our household,
A voice we love is stilled,
A place is missing in our hearts
That can never be filled."
God bless you Mum and look after my baby Josh for me, other than David and I you are the best person
for the role. I entrust one of my precious sons into your care, and I felt you and the Holy Spirit
come and take him. At the time of Joshua's passing I felt this incredible sense of warmth and peace
flooding through me. I knew exactly when it was because of this. Thank you Mum for everything.
I'm grateful to you and I love you.
For my Mum Carol
Hi Mum
Well it's the anniversary of your funeral tomorrow. Can't believe it's been 9 years already. As you know it is Rebecca's Wedding in just over a week. At our usual family church where we had Rebecca's Christening, Ruth's Christening, your Wedding Blessing, your Funeral, my James' Christening, my Wedding, and Joshua's Service for Ashes Interment (his actual funeral was at Forest Park with only me & David, it is very nice there also).
So now it will be Rebecca's Wedding! Can't believe she is a young lady now. And Ruth has just moved into her first place on her own. You must be very proud of your beautiful daughters; they are blossoming and are lovely on the inside and out. I hope I make you proud too. I try to make sure you would be proud of me and approve of my actions and decisions and so on.
Rebecca is having one of the hymns at her Wedding that we had at your funeral - the one that little Ruthie and her schoolfriends sang the first verse of by themselves up the front: "Lord of the Dance". I remember tears running down her little face, but she bravely kept on singing. She was so young. I recall she chose a purple outfit for that day; how like her! Unfortunately I can't now say "Lord of the Dance" without thinking of Michael bloody Flatley (hee hee), but at Rebecca's wedding when we all sing "Dance then, wherever you may be" I know I won't be the only one thinking of you. I am sure Rebecca will be feeling your loss on her special day. I know I did on mine. I will comfort her as best I can, and try to make sure it's as wonderful and happy as it can be for her and Peter. I am still the eldest sister, but Ruth is very like you and is also good at being motherly! Besides, I am not the only adult sister any more, so they can each take their turns now too! I have left some lilies for you today, and a laminated card. James came and helped (I think he liked wearing his wellies and using the flower scissors best). I will also bring you some flowers the day before the wedding - next Friday. I am sure some guests will pop down before or after the ceremony on Saturday to visit your and Joshua's resting places, so I'll make sure it's looking nice. I like the thought of friends and family popping down there to see your headstone and Joshie's plaque.
Love you Mum and miss you. Thank you for everything - you still inspire me and guide me through your brilliant examples but most of all your great love for your family. I love and miss you so much, but I'm grateful to have had such a fabulous Mum like you for the 24 years I did. Keep taking care of my gorgeous baby for me, if he's anything like his big brother then I'm sure he's two handfuls, but I know you can handle it! Give him an extra hug and kiss from me won't you - I had a "moment" today and the ache for him is strong.
Love you to the stars and back Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
THIS IS A TOKEN OF MY LOVE,
TO SAY I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH
WITH EACH PASSING DAY,
REST IN PEACE MY DARLING.
I WILL LOOK TO THE STARS,
AND SEE YOU THERE.
I WISH YOU ALL A PEACEFUL DAY
WITH LOVE AS ALWAYS LINDA.XXX
Grieving Mother
She clings to the hand of God
To keep from going wild;
And in His presence
Comes to know
His other hand . . .
Holds Her Child
-Thais F. Henry
THIS IS FOR FRIDAY 17-7-09
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I Still Miss You
by Angela Craig
This yearning in my heart
This confusion in my mind
The words left unspoken
Haunts me all the time
Everyday I watch pass by
With an emptiness in my life
And a hole in my heart
Where only you belong
There are nights I wake up crying
And wishing you were here
To hold me in your arms
And kiss away my tears
There is something that keeps me holding on -
What I'll never know
But one day things will go my way
And I'll have you in my arms
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THIS IS FOR SATURDAY 18-7-09
Gifts From Heaven
A tiny golden butterfly
Perched upon my sill
His wings he fluttered gently
To give my heart a thrill.
On the wind I heard a song
Sung with pure delight
Trilled by a tiny bluebird
Such a lovely sight!
Through my window drifted
A fragrance oh so sweet
From newly blooming flowers
Came this lovely special treat.
I'm touched by gentle breezes
The sun warms my frame
I feel the gentle raindrops
I count them all the same.
They are gifts to us from heaven
To cheer us each new day
Sent by someone special
With love in everyway.
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THIS IS FOR SUNDAY 19-7-09
cherished memories
Sometimes it's hard to understand
To see the reason why,
Sometimes it's hard to find the words
To say that last goodbye.
Sometimes it's hard to look ahead
With eyes still filled with tears,
But all our cherished memories
Will live on through the years.
And though there are no answers
The questions still remain,
Sometimes we just can't comprehend
Or understand the pain.
Sometimes it's hard to look beyond
The rainclouds in the sky,
Though all our cherished memories
Will stay as time goes by.
Sometimes when we close our eyes
The only thing we see,
Are moments that are long gone by
Of how things used to be.
Sometimes we need to just let go,
Let tears fall as they may,
Reliving cherished memories
That never fade away.
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Rest your weary head and drift off into dreams,
Frolic in the sunshine and bathe in God's moonbeams.
Use the stars as stepping-stones to take you to your peace,
The pain of life forgotten now you have found release.
Without rain a flower folds, the petals drop and die,
There was no way to save you, you couldn't even cry.
So we cry all the tears instead as we must let you go
To Heaven, and God's garden to blossom and to grow.
The little seed is planted, you'll be watered every day,
The angels will tend all your needs as in their arms you lay.
Your life will be amazing now and full of wondrous things,
Rest in peace, my love and fly on angels wings.
(Author unknown)
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I WISH YOU ALL A LOVELY WEEKEND MY FRIEND,
I WILL BE BACK ON MONDAY AS I'M SPENDING
TIME WITH MY BROTHER,GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
WITH LOVE AS ALWAYS LINDA.XXX
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I would like to take this opportunity
To thank everyone for all the messages
And photographs that I have received
Since the birth of Our Third Grandson Millar Chris
They are all very much appreciated
I have read every single one
It’s brilliant to have a baby in the family again,
We are over the moon, but a little sad his
Uncle Christopher won’t get a chance to meet him,
He was a wonderful Uncle to our other two Grandson’s
Jack & Layton they miss him terribly… we all do.
Thanks again
Angela A Very Happy Gran X…. But A Very Sad Mum X
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
Tributes for this weekend
FOR FRIDAY
Life is but a stopping place,
A pause in what's to be,
A resting place along the road,
To sweet eternity.
We all have different journeys,
Different paths along the way,
We are all meant to learn some things,
But never meant to stay.
Our destination is a place,
Far greater than we know,
For some the journey's quicker,
For some the journey's slow.
But when the journey finally ends,
We'll claim a great reward,
And find an everlasting peace,
Together with the Lord.
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
FOR SATURDAY
Right now I'm in a different place
And though we seem apart
I'm closer than I ever was
... I'm there inside your heart
I'm with you when you greet each day
And while the sun shines bright
I'm there to share the sunsets, too
... I'm with you every night
I'm with you when the times are good
To share a laugh or two,
And if a tear should start to fall
... I'll still be there for you
And when that day arrives
That we no longer are apart,
I'll smile and hold you close to me
Forever in my heart
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
FOR SUNDAY
I lose my grip on reality
On each day that passes by;
I haven't a clue where I'm headed
Oh how this pain makes me cry
My world is changing so quickly
And I'm losing everything in sight;
Why can't things go back to how it used to be
So that everything would be alright
Why do we have to lose the ones we love
It's just not fair, it's just not right;
Oh why God do you take them
Can't you see, I'm filled with fright
The days come and go
But the pain, it stays forever;
It never really leaves your soul
When you know, you'll no longer be together
Your heart, it's ripped wide open
And even though you try to hide;
It will break and bleed continuously
And feel as though it will never subside
I can take this pain no longer
Oh how it's killing me inside;
What suffering we have to go through
When the ones we love, have died
Thoughts Today, Memories Forever
Angela Christopher’s Very Proud Mum
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I would like to take this opportunity
To thank everyone for all the messages
And photographs that I have received
Since the birth of Our Third Grandson Millar Chris
They are all very much appreciated
I have read every single one
It’s brilliant to have a baby in the family again,
We are over the moon, but a little sad his
Uncle Christopher won’t get a chance to meet him,
He was a wonderful Uncle to our other two Grandson’s
Jack & Layton they miss him terribly… we all do.
Thanks again
Angela A Very Happy Gran X…. But A Very Sad Mum X
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
Tributes for this weekend
FOR FRIDAY
Life is but a stopping place,
A pause in what's to be,
A resting place along the road,
To sweet eternity.
We all have different journeys,
Different paths along the way,
We are all meant to learn some things,
But never meant to stay.
Our destination is a place,
Far greater than we know,
For some the journey's quicker,
For some the journey's slow.
But when the journey finally ends,
We'll claim a great reward,
And find an everlasting peace,
Together with the Lord.
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
FOR SATURDAY
Right now I'm in a different place
And though we seem apart
I'm closer than I ever was
... I'm there inside your heart
I'm with you when you greet each day
And while the sun shines bright
I'm there to share the sunsets, too
... I'm with you every night
I'm with you when the times are good
To share a laugh or two,
And if a tear should start to fall
... I'll still be there for you
And when that day arrives
That we no longer are apart,
I'll smile and hold you close to me
Forever in my heart
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
FOR SUNDAY
I lose my grip on reality
On each day that passes by;
I haven't a clue where I'm headed
Oh how this pain makes me cry
My world is changing so quickly
And I'm losing everything in sight;
Why can't things go back to how it used to be
So that everything would be alright
Why do we have to lose the ones we love
It's just not fair, it's just not right;
Oh why God do you take them
Can't you see, I'm filled with fright
The days come and go
But the pain, it stays forever;
It never really leaves your soul
When you know, you'll no longer be together
Your heart, it's ripped wide open
And even though you try to hide;
It will break and bleed continuously
And feel as though it will never subside
I can take this pain no longer
Oh how it's killing me inside;
What suffering we have to go through
When the ones we love, have died
Thoughts Today, Memories Forever
Angela Christopher’s Very Proud Mum
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ SMILE FOR ME WONT YOU
EVEN IF IT'S JUST ONCE A DAY.
LISTEN FOR MY WHISPERS THAT
I WILL SEND YOUR WAY.
LIVE MY LIFE FOR ME NOW
IT FEELS SO BLEAK.
REMEMBER EVERY TEAR YOU CRY
I'LL WIPE IT FROM YOUR CHEEK,
FOR NOW JUST LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND
AND WALK WITH ME ONCE MORE.
I PROMISE I WILL BE THERE
WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH HEAVENS GATE.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
I WISH YOU ALL A LOVELY DAY MY FRIENDS,
WITH LOVE AS ALWAYS LINDA.XXX
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13-7-09
Way up in the clouds high above
Are beautiful angels full of love
They think of their loved ones everyday
And send them peace as they kneel to pray
They say a prayer for those below
Who deeply love them and miss them so
They vanish all their emptiness and all their fears
Mop their brows when they see the tears
Although their is a distance they are by our side
They have seen the emptiness and the tears cried
They are always near and always will be
Alive in our hearts today and for eternity
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WITH LOVE AS ALWAYS LINDA.XXX
HAVE A REALLY GOOD DAY.
♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥
Our Beautiful Grandson Arrived On Saturday Afternoon
He Is Called Millar Chris, Mum & Baby Doing Fine
His Middle Name Chris Is After His Wonderful Uncle
I'm A Very Happy Gran But Sad Mum......
FOR MONDAY
If we could only speak to them,
And hold their loving hand,
No matter what we said or did,
We know they’d understand.
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FOR TUESDAY
Sadly missed along life's way,
Quietly remembered every day,
No longer in our life to share,
But in our hearts your always there.
♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥AC♫♥
FOR WEDNESDAY
Memory is a lovely lane,
Where hearts are ever true,
A lane I so often travel down,
Because it leads to you.
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FOR THURSDAY
I sit and wonder every day,
Why the Lord chose to call you away,
I think He saw you needed rest,
He only takes the very best.
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela Christopher’s Very Proud Mum
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Where Did It Go?
Where did our future go?
Our happy family unit and life?
What happened to all our plans
Where did that first smile go,
First giggle, point and wave
That first 'Dada', first 'Mama'
That first fabulous tooth ?
First look at the sea, first Christmas
First sleep through the night
First steps, first haircut
First Birthday?
The first "I love you"?
What happened to that first day of school
Those scraped knees I was going to kiss better
That first school photo
What happened to that first best friend
That first tooth fairy visit, first gappy grin?
Who stole the insolent teenager who would
Exasperate us, wear us out and make us proud
Where did his wedding day go
And his loving wife
And their beautiful children, our grandchildren ?
In a missed heartbeat
We were robbed of all of this and more,
Of our beloved son and his wondrous treasured life.
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